Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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96

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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