What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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