What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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