knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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girls basketball

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Women's Rights

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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