What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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