What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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42

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops