Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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