Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I can see you under there. Under what?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

thumb_up thumb_down -62

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

What rymes with milk..... milf

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops