How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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whats brown and booky a book.

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A hill billy went fishing

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops