What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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