- Anti Joke

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.