What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...