Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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