Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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where's mom I killed her

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops