An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

i dont fisish anythi

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Nero, sure you are okay?

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

kathryn atkins

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...