Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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hi michael

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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