So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

Why did? Yes

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

A paralysed man falls over.

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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