Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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