What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why did? Yes

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops