What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

knock knock. no one's home..

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

What's the difference between a duck?

Asian NASCAR.

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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