what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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