Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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