Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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zx

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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