What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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pussy enough said

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what happens when you wake up inception

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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