what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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