Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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A hayride would be fun.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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