a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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