Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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just in time?

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i like it in the mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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