What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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