One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Stephen Hawking

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops