Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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A midget walked under a bar.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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