A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

aodhan hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops