How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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Ben Affleck

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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PIED NINNY!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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