Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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