Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

knock knock who's there? faith

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

Bryson got a concussion...he died

What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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