A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Neil Lewis

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops