You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Animal

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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I'm funny.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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