Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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A black guy gets arrested...

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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