a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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girls basketball

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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