Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops