Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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Knock knock

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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