How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Animal

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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