Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Itookasipasoda

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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96

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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