How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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hi

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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