Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops