A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Jesus wept.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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