Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Women's Rights

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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You.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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