What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Womens rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Your momma's so fat...

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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