why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

acuna

so a baby seal walks into a club...

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

What color is a banana? yellow.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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