One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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The NBA lockout

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops