How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +168

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +56

equality for women

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops