Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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