Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

acuna

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

1134

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

This comment is anti to jokes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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