Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Obama 2012

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Miami Heat.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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9/11

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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