So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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